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A Blunt Instrument Just Isn't Enough For These People...

As I mentioned earlier, I feel very strongly about music whether I like it or dislike it. I'm sorry if you might like some of the musicians I'm about to lambaste with my contempt, but it's only my opinion and should be taken with a grain of salt!

Some people who I think should burn in unholy hellfire for all eternity for their contributions to the annals of bad taste include at the top of the list Michael Bolton - what a pandering, talentless, caterwauling hack. His singing is filled with so much overwrought emotion that there is no room for sincerity left whatsoever. I once read a description of his music that called it "power whining"! He is cloying and unctuous and why people like him, or his music, I will never understand. Similar comments could be directed to the singer from Creed as well, but on a smaller scale. Speaking of bands, Oasis doesn't even deserve to exist. They have no original ideas of their own - can you say Beatles? They did it 30 years ago and infinitely better! Then to top it off they go around with these ultra arrogant, drunken, brawling attitudes - where do they get off? Ugh! The Steve Miller Band - I just don't like them! But back to solo performers....Mariah Carey is not an artist, she performs vocal acrobatics, and grating ones at that - Oh look at her, she can screech in five octaves! Kenny G., Yanni, John Tesh, Bette Midler, Andrew Lloyd Webber and the inventor of Muzak all deserve their own little piece of brimstone to scorch upon too for the inanity and banality they have foisted upon the world.

A special place in Hades should also be reserved for the recent onslaught of Teen Sensations: Britney Spears, Christine Aguilera, N'sync and The Backstreet Boys all need to feel the prodding of Lucifer's trident. Even The Spice Girls are better than these four examples of corporate created teen pop! Heck, I'd even prefer to hear Madonna than this stuff, although her recent rendition of American Pie is leading her dangerously close to the precipice of eternal damnation (all of her other antics notwithstanding).

Then there's tweedle dum and tweedle dick - Kid Rock and Eminem. What a couple of macho, brainless little twerps. They have no talent and try to compensate with bravado and shock value. What's the matter boys? Not weaned properly as children? In particular, Eminem tries to validate his hurtful and spiteful lyrics as artistic expressions of true feelings that might come out in more negative ways if not for the outlet of music. I agree with that theory in general, but I'm afraid it just doesn't apply to this little no-talent, spoiled brat. Art employs the use of, among other things, analogy and metaphor. An artist does not make a public recording of a song containing such vitriole directed squarely at someone he is still married to. That is called vengeance, not art. Into the pit with you slimeballs!

The last word is reserved for the likes of Sean "Puff Daddy" Combs. Words cannot describe how singularly untalented this person is - unless one counts the ability to make scads of money off of such rubbish as talent. How talented musicians like Jimmy Page and Sting could have allowed him to use their work in his "songs" is beyond me. I know they didn't need the money, so what were they thinking? Puffy must have sold his soul a long time ago, so they lent him theirs, only to be returned to them sullied and abused. Celebrities say what a nice man he is, but look into his eyes and and tell me you don't see something sinister. At least Jennifer has finally come to her senses! I'm sure he will be quite at home Down Below, when the time comes.

VLP 2001

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February 2001