Don't get me wrong, we love our cousins to the south of the 49th parallel, even though we are often the butt of your jokes*. We take it in stride - that's our nature - but we do like to poke a little fun at your expense in return, especially after watching things like 'Jay Walking' on The Tonight Show!
So, indulge me for a moment, won't you, while I partake in some long overdue Canadian Patriotism, eh?
In the year 2000 National Pride began an upswing, thanks in part to 'The Rant' (perhaps not the wisest reason), an ad for Molson Canadian which echoed the sentiments of many Canadians, particularly those in closer proximity to the U.S. border.
THE DAILY PLANET (originally intended to be named The Daily Star)
inspired by The Toronto Daily Star (now The Toronto Star)
PA CARTWRIGHT from Bonanza - Lorne Greene - CANADIAN
PERRY MASON & IRONSIDE - Raymond Burr - CANADIAN
CAPTAIN JAMES T. KIRK from Star Trek - William Shatner - CANADIAN
SCOTTY from Star Trek - James Doohan - CANADIAN
HERR VON TRAPP from The Sound of Music - Christopher Plummer - CANADIAN
WINNIE THE POOH the real bear from Winnepeg, Manitoba - CANADIAN
Those Weird Canadian Words & Spellings!For you I shall attempt to CATALOGUE a few of the quirks of Canadian DIALOGUE....
We pronounce the letter z ZED. We call Eskimos INUIT because they prefer it. A check is a mark, while a CHEQUE is a form of payment. When we use the Metric System we measure with the METRE and LITRE and a big, heavy mass is a TONNE. We like to go to the THEATRE. Our films are often quite dark and yet we are known for our export of HUMOUR. We pronounce lieutenant LEFTENANT. We HONOUR our veterans on REMEMBRANCE DAY on the cold, GREY day of November 11th, and despite what some are apparently being taught, WE won The War Of 1812.
We drive on HIGHWAYS and ships sail into our HARBOURS. In the winter we wear TOQUES on our heads. At night we wear PYJAMAS and during the day adorn ourselves with JEWELLERY. When we build stuff we use square-headed ROBERTSON screws. LOONIES and TOONIES are our 1 & 2 dollar coins respectively, and the latter has a different COLOUR in its CENTRE. We have a second currency known as CANADIAN TIRE MONEY. When someone can't get any LABOUR they go on the POGEY. We have POSTAL CODES employing letters and numbers. NIAGARA FALLS is better in Canada. We have two official languages - ENGLISH and FRENCH - although most of us are only proficient in one or the other, except when it comes to food labels. Our country is made up of PROVINCES (10) and TERRITORIES (3) and we are governed by PREMIERS and a PRIME MINISTER in the PARLIAMENT. Jean Chretien, pronounced roughly [JZ]ON KRET-CHEN', is our current Prime Minister who resides in OTTAWA, our capitol. MULRONEY (as in Former P.M.) can be used interchangeably with the word bastard.
The name varies in each province, but here in Ontario we buy our liquor at the L.C.B.O. stores (The Liquor Control Board of Ontario) and buy TWO-FOURS of beer at THE BEER STORE (formerly Brewer's Retail). We don't buy sticks of butter but we do buy bags of milk. RUMOUR has it that "We like our COFFEE, CRISP", chocolate bars that is, along with its silly slogan that we saw on tv while sitting on our CHESTERFIELDS. Maple is one of our FAVOURITE FLAVOURS straight from nature. BUTTER TARTS and NANAIMO BARS are homespun sweets. The best way to eat French Fries is with SALT & VINEGAR or as POUTINE from Quebec with its gravy and cheese curd topping. We eat more doughnuts and more KRAFT DINNER macaroni & cheese per capita than anywhere else in the world, and we wash it all down with refreshing POP. You can wipe your mouth afterwards with a SERVIETTE and then
BOB'S YOUR UNCLE!
And finally, even if ALL of his policies weren't great, former
Prime Minister TRUDEAU really was thee coolest world leader ever!!